Water for My Plant

It’s been a while since I re-read my old postings. But this morning’s air felt so heavy in my lungs, and my eyes were making their efforts to stay open (haha…). As usual I arrived quite early at my 1m square cubicle within one of the most expensive rented building in Jakarta.
Not many people around, and I needed some fuel to warm my brain and my spirit that seemed to be dozing off. So I turned on my laptop and keyed in my blog’s address in the explorer. Looking for some sparks, some baits to be caught by my hungry spirit.

And there you were. Unintentionally I caught a glimpse of that comments notification under my old posting. I know I’ve been absent for a while, but I was sure I’ve read all. Curiosity sipped in and it only took me a second to finally click it, trying to find out which old friends of mine have finally stopped by and looked around again.

To my surprise it’s not my old friends. But passers-by who crossed my path by the choice of the universe. And the comments were so generous it killed my drowsiness in an instant (I’m such a pathetic little nerd who’s so thirsty of kind attention).

There was some turbulence during the long pause between my last latest posting and the recent ones. I had to give up my previous job in the previous company where I once set my heart to. The job was new for me. Yet it was an answer to my pursuit. I thought I wanted to be there like forever. I described my relationship to the job like a newly wedded couple. But unfortunately, soon after the festive days, something happened and my marriage must end. All of a sudden it was over. Brokenhearted, I finally parted, leaving what used to be my dreams behind, entering a whole new foreign battle field where I experienced sooooo many emotional struggle. Huge ones. Extreme ones. Preposterous ones. Those I never encountered before. I learned a lot. And I mean A LOT…

So much is going on and need handling all the time. Days pass, and before I realized, I’ve abandoned and nearly forgot that little writer inside me. I thought she has been put to a long sleep in some extreme frozen temperature to be awakened like half a century later. But one day, she woke up, starving. And I began to get used to stuffs, getting used to accepting things, ready to move on.

And so I wrote again. So glad she’s still alive and not temporarily frozen for judgment day.

And your comments, just like one of my mentors said to me, were like open windows that allow me to see the world from a different and beautiful point of view. It gives breath to my soul. Warmth to my heart. And so I’d like to say, thank you for stopping by and leave some life-giving remarks which I cherish so much.