Stay

Ah... it's so tempting to walk out, again...

It's awful down here

I was honored when you told me the good news

Felt alive once again

But my friend, I think this is not my time yet

So, hardly must I say

Just leave me here for a while

And let me face my nightmare 

Live to Tell

Ok, impian buat belajar tentang kerjaan yang bunyinya kayak position title gw, sepertinya mesti gw lupain untuk sementara. Gw kaga yakin bos gw tau apa yang harus dia lakukan sebagai Kepala Divisi, atau bahkan sebagai people manager. Setelah kerja bareng dia setengah taon lebih, gw belajar banyakkkk hal, kecuali yg gw sebut di atas:

Satu

Ngga usah kekeuh kalo bos beda keyakinan sama loe. Percuma, kalo loe maksa, yang ada dia jadi sebel ama loe, besok-besok dia ogah ngajak loe diskusi lagi. Belom lagi kalo loe udah kekeuh, salah pula! Kelar lah karir loe. Selama keyakinan dia masih bisa ditolerir (meskipun agak bodoh, kurang efektif dan efisien tapi ngga melibatkan pelanggaran hukum atau hak asasi manusia), ya sudah lah… Tuhan tau loe lebih pinter, ngga usah nyari panggung buat tampil.

Dua

On becoming a good people manager: kenalin kemampuan dan kapasitas anak buah. Orang pinter memang cenderung ngeselin. Entah gayanya yang sok tau, sifatnya yang skeptic, suka melawan dan membangkang, ngga sabaran dll. But you know what? Mereka cuma butuh dimengerti dan diperlakukan dengan jujur. Kalo loe merasa insecure dengan sikap mereka2 ini, mungkin… loe belom siap jadi people manager. Atau, loe mungkin Cuma kurang pinter.

Tiga

On becoming a good people manager no. 2: se-limited apa pun kemampuan anak buah, hargain pendapat dan masukan mereka. Kadang mereka ada benernya, mungkin karena mereka udah sangat terbiasa dengan pekerjaan rutin mereka, ada detil yang mereka tau, yang loe ngga aware. Keep open, ngga usah defensive, after all, you’re the boss.

Empat

Segala sesuatu ada logikanya. Kalo bicara soal kerjaan, sepanjang pengalaman dan pengamatan gw, sebesar apa pun suatu kerjaan, pasti di dalemnya ada detil-detil kecil yang sederhana, yang keliatan remeh. Banyak orang-orang, terutama yang superficial, mengabaikan hal-hal kecil remeh ini, karena dia terpaku sama penampilan luar yang wow keren. Padahal… what makes the difference is… the details! Bayangin kalo loe lagi ngebandingin 2 mobil, dari luar penampakan dan bentuknya sama, keren, sporty. Tapi pas masuk dan bandingin fitur, yg 1 bisa lebih lengkap dibanding yg 1 nya lagi. Mahal dikit beli yang mana?

Lima

Jangan loe pikir orang2 yang kerja di kantor itu selalu sibuk sama pekerjaan. Look at me. Udah beberapa minggu belakangan, kebanyakan waktunya cuma buat chatting di WA sama temen.

Enam

Honesty is the best policy. Ini peribahasa udah lama, tapi akan selamanya relevan. Kalo ngga ngerti, jangan pura-pura ngerti. Nanya. Pepatah lama yang lain kan bilang: malu bertanya, sesat di jalan. Ga usah jaim kalo ngga ngerti, ngga ada orang yang maha tau kok. Sadar kalo kita ngga ngerti adalah langkah pertama menuju ngerti, karena waktu kita sadar kita ngga ngerti, kita akan berusaha untuk cari informasi dan belajar supaya ngerti. Ngerti maksud gw kan? Well, anyway, satu lagi tentang honesty, kalo salah, jangan Cuma bisa ngeles. Cari tau kenapa bisa salah. Cari akar permasalahannya. Explain. Trus perbaiki, supaya di masa depan, kesalahannya ngga terjadi lagi. Ini sikap yang langka banget ditemuin di orang-orang yang lagi diaudit, ngga peduli dia cungpret, atau kepala divisi.  

Last but Not Least

Dalam setiap hal, petik pelajarannya. Kadang situasi ngga seperti yang kita harapkan. But hey, it's life. Shit happens and people are often ridiculous. It's ok, karena justru itu lah life lessons kita. Dealing with shit, di tengah-tengah budaya korup, bebal dan ngga jujur. Tapi apakah kita mau ikutan jd korup, bebal & ngawur? Ngutip kata-katanya Agent John Myers di film Hellboy: What makes a man a man? Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don't think so. It's the choices he makes. Not how he starts things, but how he decides to end them.

Have a blessed productive day!

Blessing in Disguise

I pissed off tonight, over bad traffic that held my bus from coming. Like usual, I took any transjakarta bus heading west to get to the railway station. Like any other days, I got out from office just a few minutes before 6 PM.  The bus stop was crowded, but it would usually dissolve in about 10 minutes. So I waited anyway. And got myself emotional when not less than 5 busses passed with already packed passengers inside. I decided to get off the bus stop and plan to order a grab bike. I cross that wide arterial road illegally with several women who seemed confuse and desperate to cross that damn road (the pedestrian bridge was closed and cut off several years ago due to some reasons I never know). Arrived at the other side of the road, I saw an empty bluebird parking by the roadside. I hurried there and knocked the window to get a rejection. The driver was taking a rest. Great! So I took out my cell and open the Grab app, thus mistakenly ordered a grab car. Coincidentally the car was stuck in traffic jam so I could cancel without guilt. After that, I ordered the right vehicle, waited several seconds and got myself a bike. Called the driver and found out that he was too far away from my location. Stupid GPS! Made another order, and nada. No bike took my order. Awesome. I was stranded. No bus, no taxi, no bike. I cursed everybody who rided a car in this downtown area as they were the culprit of all this mess. No signs of any public transport available, I walked to the nearest bus stop which is about 1 km away on the other side of the Semanggi interchange. I cursed and swore along the way. I feel like yelling to anyone that passed by. When finally got to the nearest bus stop, the condition looked better. Only a minute or two, a regular bus (Kopaja 19) arrived, with enough room for more passengers. I got on the stifled bus, with sweat dripping from head to waist. I sat next to a mother carrying a toddler. Upset due to the narrow space she left for me to sit. Fine, I thought, she carried a baby. Whatever. The bus roared and roamed the road as I tried to calm down. Saw the numerous car lights and felt my temper rose again. If I had to be stuck in another traffic jam after my struggle… God forbid. But it turned out the road was quite friendly toward the railway station. I opened my wallet to grab some money to pay the bus fare and dropped my debit cards which pissed me off again. It was an incredibly uncomfortable situation. I cursed and cursed. I held my money with me and wonder where the hell was the driver’s assistant who would take the passengers’ payment? Fine! If it’s gonna be difficult to pay, I’d just get off the bus without paying.

The railway station was finally approached when the bus took a slight turn to the left side of the road and stopped. The old driver got off from his seat, and headed outside the bus after taking bus fares from several passengers in the front side of the bus, including me. Shoot, I thought, what is this? Shift change or something? Yeah right! Take ur time sir, ours are expendable!  

It turned out that the driver stopped for a while to collect the bus fares. Like I said, no assistant. That old man collected the payment from each passenger from the backside of the bus. When he finally came close to me, I could see his slightly crippled hand holding bank notes. He murmured to a passenger, apologized for his clumsy hands due to light stroke he had. And that was when I notice his torn shirt, his limp steps, crooked body and his white hair. Suddenly, I felt like a fire washed out by heaps of water. 

As the old driver crawled back to his driver seat alone, I felt sadness came over me…

It was one bad night for me. But for the old driver, it was just one of his usual days. Trapped for days and nights behind the hot steering wheel, without air conditioner, assistant, fixed basic salary, nor medical benefits… 

Does he have a family? Where does he live? Does he come home to have dinner? To sleep and relax after an exhausting day? Who took care of him while he was sick? At that age, shouldn’t he stay at home, watch TV and rest while watching over his grandchildren?

And there was I, cursing and swearing just because I had to walk 1 km which is good to burn my calories after eating that birthday cake. Just because I had to be late for dinner for half an hour, while that old driver might have not had any decent meals today.

I complained about the boredom I suffer, while some people might do anything to have what I have right now.

Isn’t it a blessing to use public transport and be among these people? Small, shabby and tired people, with their daily struggles in this cruel world, with their life burdens… the people and the life that God wants to touch until He sent His Son to be among them once…

I’ve been a bitch. I know.

But I feel blessed tonight. And I pray for everyone to be touched by God’s kindness. Especially those who are helpless yet still strive to live a righteous life.

Lenong Kantoran

Duh pak… ente mau nyari orang yg kayak apa sichh?

Dikasih yang ini salah, dikasih yang itu salah.

Emang ane kaga pengalaman urusan narik2in orang, tapi ane punya otak dan ane heran liat ente yang selalu nemuin cacat di orang yang ane kasih rekomendasi.

Katanya nyari orang finance. Tapi dikasih yang udah pada pengalaman di finance, ada aje yg bikin ente il-feel. Blunder lah kalo jawab pertanyaan, kutu loncat lah, tukang ngecap lah, kaga bisa bahasa Ingg lah, kaga ada kesan apa-apa lah…

Baru pas dikasih yang ente kenal, padahal bukan pengalaman di finance, ente bilang overqualified! Ane pengen banget nanya ente, jd kualifikasinya nyang mane pak? Kok ane bisa kaga tau selama ini, ampe udah manggil orang bejibun-jibun? Yg terakhir mah saking udah kepepet, beda ama kualifikasi pun kita sodorin ke ente. Nah lho??

Jagoan ane ente kaga selera, alesan: ga bisa cas cis cus bahasa Londo, kurang punya drive. Lha pak, katanya nyari orang finance, kok sekarang nyari driver?

Akhirnya ente terpaksa ngambil jagoan ane, karena bos ente mao juga. Kata ente, inget ya, dia harus lolos probation dulu lho!

Ya elah pak, emang ente dulu waktu jadi karyawan kaga lewatin probation dulu? Trus emangnya ente kalo empet ama tu orang pas probation, bakal diem-diem aje?

Pak, kalo ente mau jaminan atas masa depan seseorang di perusahaan ini, jangan minta dari HR pak, kite2 bukan cenayang kayak mama Loren. Kaga tau pak di masa depan ada apaan. Kalo ente mau pake assessment centre, monggo aja pak, tp asal tau aja, ada biayanya, trus hasilnya paling pol juga 65%. Dan itu bukan mekanisme standar pro-hire. Kan ente mestinya ngarti, katanya dulu ente di HR.

Kalo mau ideal, emang caranya kudu kayak toko sebelah yg beda industri, rekrut anak2 yang masih mentah, masukin assessment buat seleksi, trus didik di dalem sampe jadi. Nanti kalo ada kebutuhan, bisa langsung comot dari stock yang udah ada.

Tapi masalahnya pak, toko kita kaga begitu. Kalo toko sebelah pan punya gudang, gede lagi. Toko kita kan kiosnya minimalis, kalo beli stok grosiran, mo disimpen di mane? Kita mah cocoknya ngecer pak. Kalo butuh, baru beli.

Sori ya kalo ane salah. Ane ngaku, emang kaga punya pendidikan ato pengalaman di bidang perekrutan. Cuma berusaha mikir aja, pake logika ane yang terbatas dan ngga seberapa ini.

Good night Jekardah!

Let's Play Dumb

No matter how smart you are

Your boss is smarter

So just do the goddamned work

It pays good. For now.

And you don’t have to work overtime

Or worship satan.