Blessing in Disguise

I pissed off tonight, over bad traffic that held my bus from coming. Like usual, I took any transjakarta bus heading west to get to the railway station. Like any other days, I got out from office just a few minutes before 6 PM.  The bus stop was crowded, but it would usually dissolve in about 10 minutes. So I waited anyway. And got myself emotional when not less than 5 busses passed with already packed passengers inside. I decided to get off the bus stop and plan to order a grab bike. I cross that wide arterial road illegally with several women who seemed confuse and desperate to cross that damn road (the pedestrian bridge was closed and cut off several years ago due to some reasons I never know). Arrived at the other side of the road, I saw an empty bluebird parking by the roadside. I hurried there and knocked the window to get a rejection. The driver was taking a rest. Great! So I took out my cell and open the Grab app, thus mistakenly ordered a grab car. Coincidentally the car was stuck in traffic jam so I could cancel without guilt. After that, I ordered the right vehicle, waited several seconds and got myself a bike. Called the driver and found out that he was too far away from my location. Stupid GPS! Made another order, and nada. No bike took my order. Awesome. I was stranded. No bus, no taxi, no bike. I cursed everybody who rided a car in this downtown area as they were the culprit of all this mess. No signs of any public transport available, I walked to the nearest bus stop which is about 1 km away on the other side of the Semanggi interchange. I cursed and swore along the way. I feel like yelling to anyone that passed by. When finally got to the nearest bus stop, the condition looked better. Only a minute or two, a regular bus (Kopaja 19) arrived, with enough room for more passengers. I got on the stifled bus, with sweat dripping from head to waist. I sat next to a mother carrying a toddler. Upset due to the narrow space she left for me to sit. Fine, I thought, she carried a baby. Whatever. The bus roared and roamed the road as I tried to calm down. Saw the numerous car lights and felt my temper rose again. If I had to be stuck in another traffic jam after my struggle… God forbid. But it turned out the road was quite friendly toward the railway station. I opened my wallet to grab some money to pay the bus fare and dropped my debit cards which pissed me off again. It was an incredibly uncomfortable situation. I cursed and cursed. I held my money with me and wonder where the hell was the driver’s assistant who would take the passengers’ payment? Fine! If it’s gonna be difficult to pay, I’d just get off the bus without paying.

The railway station was finally approached when the bus took a slight turn to the left side of the road and stopped. The old driver got off from his seat, and headed outside the bus after taking bus fares from several passengers in the front side of the bus, including me. Shoot, I thought, what is this? Shift change or something? Yeah right! Take ur time sir, ours are expendable!  

It turned out that the driver stopped for a while to collect the bus fares. Like I said, no assistant. That old man collected the payment from each passenger from the backside of the bus. When he finally came close to me, I could see his slightly crippled hand holding bank notes. He murmured to a passenger, apologized for his clumsy hands due to light stroke he had. And that was when I notice his torn shirt, his limp steps, crooked body and his white hair. Suddenly, I felt like a fire washed out by heaps of water. 

As the old driver crawled back to his driver seat alone, I felt sadness came over me…

It was one bad night for me. But for the old driver, it was just one of his usual days. Trapped for days and nights behind the hot steering wheel, without air conditioner, assistant, fixed basic salary, nor medical benefits… 

Does he have a family? Where does he live? Does he come home to have dinner? To sleep and relax after an exhausting day? Who took care of him while he was sick? At that age, shouldn’t he stay at home, watch TV and rest while watching over his grandchildren?

And there was I, cursing and swearing just because I had to walk 1 km which is good to burn my calories after eating that birthday cake. Just because I had to be late for dinner for half an hour, while that old driver might have not had any decent meals today.

I complained about the boredom I suffer, while some people might do anything to have what I have right now.

Isn’t it a blessing to use public transport and be among these people? Small, shabby and tired people, with their daily struggles in this cruel world, with their life burdens… the people and the life that God wants to touch until He sent His Son to be among them once…

I’ve been a bitch. I know.

But I feel blessed tonight. And I pray for everyone to be touched by God’s kindness. Especially those who are helpless yet still strive to live a righteous life.