Sayur... sayur

Bosan.
Bosan.
Bosan.
Kenapa gue bosan?
Ngga tau.
Mungkin karena kerjaan gue itu-itu terus.
Mungkin karena ngantuk.
Tapi mungkin karena gue bosan makanya gue ngantuk.
Serba salah.
Libur pengen kerja.
Kerja pengen libur.
Ga pengen ngapa-ngapain.
Tapi enak juga kalo bisa pulang.
Pulang ke rumah impian gue.
Di mana gue bisa selonjor sambil bengong.
Ngga usah ngapa-ngapain.
Ngga perlu sungkan males-malesan kayak Garfield.
Nikmatnya selonjor sambil bengong.
Nyender di sofa empuk.
Baca novel, denger Bruno Mars.
Tidur, mimpi liburan ke Santorini.

Sadistic Movies, Please Go to Hell

Sumpah, gue ngga habis pikir kenapa ada film macem Saw dibuat bersekuel-sekuel. Hiburan sakit. Apa manusia udah segitu stress nya jaman sekarang sampe nyari hiburan dengan nonton film nista kayak gitu? Mau MUNTAH. Gue curiga yang bikin skenario itu film, entah serial killer, orang sinting alias lagi berobat jalan, atau kerasukan iblis jahanam. WTF are in his/ her mind to be able to create such gruesome scenes? Buat gue film itu ngga lebih dari kisah biadab, ngga ada intinya kecuali ngingetin semua orang kalo ternyata, manusia bisa lebih rendah dari binatang. Apa masih perlu diingetin lagi? Apa hidup sehari-hari kurang kejam? Kurang susah? Kurang keji? That you’re willing to watch people get slaughtered like chickens and cows??? Have people lost their heart now?

It’s totally NOT FUNNY at all. Ngga lucu sama sekali. Kalo ada rating minus, gue akan kasih rating minus tidak berhingga buat film itu. Percuma aja buang-buang duit dan kerja susah payah buat produksi tu film, kalo niatnya mau bikin hiburan. Tapi gue ngga bisa komentar kalo orang-orang yang bekerja behind the scene adalah orang-orang yang butuh terapi kejiwaan yang salah satu programnya adalah dengan mengkhayal adegan-adegan sadis tak berperikemanusiaan. But then it makes the therapist the son of a bitch. Sebagai orang yang waras, kok ngga berpikir dua kali untuk nyebarluasin tontonan penuh kekerasan kayak gitu? Apa dia ngga punya anak kecil or keponakan di rumah? Apa dia ngga tahu (yang rasanya sih mustahil), apa yang ditonton anak-anak itu bisa dicontoh sama mereka? Lantas gimana pertanggungjawaban mereka kalau sampai ada anak-anak yang kurang dapet pengawasan trus nonton film-film hina dina menjijikkan dan najis buatan dia itu trus nyontoh?

Look, all I’m trying to say is: sadis ada batasnya. Tapi belakangan ini yang gue liat, produser-produser film sepertinya berlomba-lomba bikin film yang sadis, keji, biadab. Seolah-olah kekerasan sekarang jadi trend. Jadi mode. The more blood, the more applause. Which looks pretty insane to me. Terang aja, seorang gue ngga mungkin menghentikan produksi film-film Saw rendahan itu. Dan emang, gue ngga bisa maksain selera. Tapi buat mereka-mereka, bapak-bapak dan ibu-ibu yang kerja di belakang layar, please, think again before coming up with more horrid, grisly and wicked ideas just to sell your movies. Your minds can be the devil’s workshops.

Going Home with My Cousin

You remind me of my childhood
Chasing chick n fireflies
In the old days
When our limbs were short

Walking up the levee
Counting goat’s droppings
‘Till we reached the river
To catch the rowboat home

And the walk on the farm
Can never forget that
Peeing on the street side
And nibbling the sweet cucumber

But the poor little bird you caught
Owwhh…
I was shaking in sadness
Thought you were some twisted li’l boy

From then on you were away
Busy with your boy things
In your own world I despise

Years pass by
No more fireflies
No more crossing the riverwide

And look at you now
Handsome and all grown up
Do you still remember?
Our crazy adventure
In our little village
Where everything started
And will end eventually

Keep them in our memories
A sweet story I will always miss

Parting Letter

I don’t know what I should think about you now
You had me at hello, really
Your aura filled my days
You’ve opened my door to another world full of hopes
What used to be ruined
Was suddenly healed, repaired
Thought you were an angel without wings

But look at us now
Years passed
And you were drowned under your personal intentions
Looked like u forgot about me
And I felt wasted
More and more each day
Now you’ve lost your aura
No more zest along my days
You’re just a selfish charming prince
But that’s my fault
For letting myself forgotten
For believing in you
And for thinking that you might be
thinking about me

So here I am, on your doorstep
Saying thanks
And goodbye
I’d like to stay actually
But real life is calling
He told me that there’s no such angel

Eureka!

Okay, I finally come to my conclusion. After thinking head over heels about it, after sinking so deep under hesitation, I finally reach the answer. So ladies and gentlemen, here, let me tell you how you dream.

In my case:
Having a career in a well established bank in the country, doing financial or information system stuffs may not be my dream. But if that can lead me to my dreams, which are: having my own home, personal decent car, vacations to foreign countries and a better life for me and my loved ones. Then YES! The career is a part of my dreams also. You bet I’ll do it! No more tricky questions asking me ‘what is your true aspiration?’ CRAP! Girl’s got a life to live and another MAJOR dream to reach!

Resolusi Sampingan

Udah ganti taon, tapi gue masih di sini. Di divisi yang sama, ngerjain hal yang sama dengan yg gue kerjain empat taon yang lalu waktu pertama kali masuk sini. Bos gue, juga masih sama. Partner gue, masih sama juga. Mereka keliatan sama betahnya di sini ama gue. Atau terpaksa betah? Krn udah kecantol ama COP alias fasilitas mobil dari kantor yang bakal jd HM (Hak Milik) 5 taon setelah perolehan. Reasonable. Beli mobil itu mahal, and I mean MAHALLLL, jadi kalo bisa DAPET, hidup akan terasa jauh lebih mudah. Lupakan fasilitas angkutan umum di Jakarta hari gini. Dan jangan pernah berkhayal transjakarta itu mirip sama MTR di Hongkong kecuali mau patah hati kronis.

So the question is… why on earth, does a person like me (meaning: NOT stupid, NOT handicapped, well educated, entitled to 2 bachelor degrees and fluent in English) stay here to rot? Gue belom tunangan sama COP atau pinjeman rumah, meskipun lagi mikir buat memulai komitmen gue pada salah satunya (hmm… atau better jangan dulu? You know what they say, one marriage is tough already, u don’t wanna have several of it).
Do I really rot here? Rasanya sih begitu. Gejalanya udah gue rasain sejak taon pertama bahkan. Siapa pun yang duduk dalam radius 5-7 bangku dari gue dan ngga buta, pasti tau kalo gue sering tidur di depan kompi, pagi or siang or sore, you name it. Yang gawat kalo si bos gede yang nangkring di aquarium di belakang gue ngeh kalo most of the time in my office hour, either gue ngantuk, or struggling buat ngusir rasa ngantuk gue dengan: bolak-balik nyeduh kopi, chatting di BB, or nulisin blog atau novel garapan gue. Pertanyaan dia adalah: anak ini kurang dikasih kerjaan? Atau punya side job jadi hansip siskamling?

Udah 4 taon ngerjain laporan yang sama, dan grade gue belom bergeming ibarat perahunya Sangkuriang yang udah jadi gunung. It doesn’t move an inch! It’s kinda long journey to COP, meanwhile mobil operasional pribadi gue dan hubby udah mulai karatan (I mean beneran karatan, atepnya bocor n skrg lagi diopname di bengkel body repair). Sedangkan bos gue udah ganti mobil dari Suzuki Grand Vitara ke Toyota Fortuner. Gratis, dan dia ngga harus nyembah setan untuk itu. But don’t take it wrongly, I have nothing against my bos. He’s a wonderful one. Rare in his kind.

Now I’m on a crossroad. Or at least I think I’m on a crossroad. Mimpi gue jadi penulis ngga akan pernah gue ralat. Apa pun yang terjadi, bagaimana pun kondisi gue, udah terbukti gue ngga bisa ngelak dari keinginan untuk terus nulis dan nulis. Okay, so the main goal is somewhere between JK Rowling and Anne Rice. Tapi, apakah seseorang ngga boleh punya mimpi-mimpi sampingan? Di dunia kerjaan aja ada istilah side job. Boleh donk gue punya side dreams? Main dream gue jadi penulis terkenal dan side dream gue, punya COP, punya rumah sendiri, dan gaji lumayan supaya gue bisa jalan-jalan ke luar negeri at least every year.

Boleh kan?