Think I will try
to write some kind of a diary here. Been a long time since I did that. So
here’s an interesting event (if u can call it an event) that happened to me no
longer than 3 weeks ago. It’s a reflection actually, that I’d like to share
with anyone who wants to know.
There’s this
Primadoa fellowship in my office which holds a service every Thursday
afternoon. They call many great preachers to speak in the services, each of
which I don’t want to miss.
So anyway, in one
service, the sermon given was about success. What is the REAL success in the
eyes of God? The preacher – who looked remarkably young when I greeted him at
the entrance but then I realised that he wasn’t once he stepped up to the
podium – quoted a verse from Proverbs 23:4 (Don't wear yourself out
trying to get rich. Be wise enough to know when to quit.)
Being a mediocre catholic, I admit that I seldom read the
bible. Bible verses are accessed only at mass, as for the rest of the week; the
‘other not so holy’ verses flood my mind. I found myself fascinated by the
verse, knowing that such sayings exist in the Holy Scripture. Wow. I said amen
to all the preacher said about what success should be in Christians’ lives.
100% agree. I felt as if a fire burned inside my heart. Once again I got my
self an affirmation. That it’s not at all about money. There is nothing to envy
others for how much they earn. And that I shouldn’t be worried about the
constant figure that printed on my bank account statement every month. The
figure is NOTHING! It’s what you give to God that matters. It’s how we live our
vocations, how we relate intimately with Him, how we go to places He wants us
to be. Go there first, and the money will indeed follow. Not for us to be rich,
but for us to bless others, cause basically God is the owner of every penny in
the world. He has the right to allocate them as He pleases. Bottom line, I had
a great joy after the sermon.
And exactly 2 weeks after that, I received my first
assessment. Somehow, not deliberately I had a chance to find out someone’s
salary. And guess what, I was broken. I have never imagined that she earns that
much! Gosh! All this time I thought I earn more than she does. I felt so upset,
felt like I have been deceived big time. She was so good at pretending and
complaining to be flat broke most of the times, treating others as if they are
more fortunate than she is. I was down and began to condemn the company where I
work, accusing them guilty for not appreciating me. So much for the fire that
burned my heart 2 weeks before.
Only after a day or two, I finally managed to resolve my
disappointment. Through my silent prayer, I was reminded of the preacher’s
sermon. Once again I recalled the verses, the spirit, the never changing truth,
and the lives given to Him totally. Thus I felt like someone really slapped me
in the face. Maybe if Simon Peter was present that time, he would have told me,
‘Join the club honey. Been there before.’
What I’m trying to tell here is, beware and keep our prayers
at all time, for we must nurture the words of God, not only in our hearts but
also in out daily lives, in practices. We are so fragile; we seldom know when
the test comes. Therefore we must always relate to Him, let Him guard every
feeling and emotion we encounter so we won’t do things outside His will.
