Lit My Fire

Biarkan aku merenung sejenak. Di tengah-tengah hiruk pikuk kota berdebu. Di sela-sela kesibukan para pengejar karir. Akan kutanyakan pada hatiku, ‘kemanakah engkau melanglang hingga rasanya aku kosong?’
Pikiranku kedinginan ditinggal hati. Kini ia mendekam muram di bawah selimut kemalasan.
Kembalilah hatiku, hangatkan aku.
Seperti sebatang lilin engkau meleleh ‘tuk menerangi ceruk gelap dalam jiwaku.

Aku malu ingat janji-janji lalu. Kini mereka hanya gundukan cerita usang. Jauh tak tergapai. Ingin aku salahkan setiap insan yang melintas di depanku. Agar mereka tahu rasanya jadi aku. Aku cemburu pada burung-burung. Yang melayang bebas di langit, yang berkicau tiap fajar merekah, tak sehari pun kehilangan semangat.

Katakan padaku wahai Sahabat. Ke mana aku harus mencari. Pemantik api untuk lilinku.

Carry My Cross

Di suatu noktah dalam jalinan nafasmu
Akan kau temui sebuah ceritera
Tentang warna dan corak yang melukis engkau
Tentang debu dan tanah yang menyusun rusuk
Misteri dasar yang kau hirup setiap detik
Dari kealpaan hingga nirwana

Di antara kepingan-kepingan hari
kau merenungi suka dan siksa
Ketika pahit membakar kecapan
Saat peluh dan air mata berdendang seirama
Dan kau bersimpuh memeluk luka

Karena bagai buliran intan kau ditempa
Di perut bumi yang bergelora dan penuh bara
Kenanglah Dia yang meniti derita
Melebur ke dasar kegelapan
Dalam nelangsa dan kesendirian
Namun bukan untuk suatu kesia-siaan

Sebab itu usirlah syak karena kelam telah remuk
Sirna tak berjejak
Oleh bara yang tak kan padam
Oleh kesetian yang memenangkan

Precious... Precious Faith

I thank Thee for sending me Thy angels to surround me. To fill my mind with thoughts of light. Whenever I start exploring the dangerous territory, they guard me to come home soundly to Thee. Thy invisible hands have held mine in ways beyond my ability to understand. So narrow, so shallow and useless, my mind is. Merely dust blown and vanished by the slightest wind.

Bring me simpleness. And humbleness. So I can no longer proud. For there's nothing of me to be proud of. For the mind that is proud will claim it's versatility. And tempted to criticize, condemned and judge all else but itself. A simple mind, though, creates a humble heart. Thus Thy wisdom and grace shall pour unto it.

Let me not analyze. When it's about Thee. Let me not question. But believe. I know my faith is given. For my wretched soul can never afford it. Not in eternity. Here, let me learn about Love without condition. Let my heart be broken, in a thousand little pieces. Realizing Thy kindness, deeper than any deepest ocean trench.

Antara kau dan Dia

Ingatlah ini, sayang...
Akan hari ini
Ketika langit tersedu
Ketika aku lenyap dari pandangmu
Dan lenyap dari ingatan orang-orang
Dan hari-hari terus melaju melindas kenangan

Ketika aku kembali ke rahim sang bumi
Seperti debu yang disapu badai
Meninggalkan kesenyapan
Dalam asa yang tak kunjung kau gapai

Ingatlah...
Akan setiap doa yang meluncur
Lewat tetes-tetes air mata
Saat Ia berbisik di telingaku
Memeluk erat jiwaku
Merasakan remuk redam hatiNya

Tersungkurlah dalam keagunganNya
Rasakan tanah yang rebah di bawah kakiNya
Dan biarkan Ia menggapaimu
Meleburmu dalam gemuruh keabadian.

Another Day in the Cubicle

Oh… these numbers…
Such dreary numbers before my drowsy eyes
My passion has been dried out
Nothing is left there to spark the flame
I watch them in dislike
From behind the cage of disillusionment
Of the inability to unite with my true aim

Distraction!
She looks so orange today…
U huh… sweet like the fruit
With tiny colorful buttons in her belly

Back to the bulk of numbers
Hideous numbers
Meaningless of them
Somebody please tell me
Why do I end up here?

Can’t you do something to deliver me from these numbers?
‘Coz they’re dragging me down
From someone to no one
From something to nothing
What I need are words
Them, and more of them!

Insomnia

Malam kian larut dalam hening dan kegelapan
Dan aku terbaring tanpa suara
Menatap kisi-kisi jendela yang dilalui cercah-cercah cahaya temaram
Berpikir dan mengingat hari-hari yang beku dalam waktu lampau

Jalanan panjang berdebu itu
Di bawah langit kelam tak berbintang
Yang setiap hari kutelusuri
Sambil membiarkan anganku mengembara bersama angin
Bertanya-tanya, akan seperti apakah masa yang menunggu di depanku?
Mampukan menjalaninya?
Kutundukkan lagi kepalaku menatap aspal jalanan
Yang kering dan hangat terbakar matahari tadi siang

Ah... Aku ingat rumah-rumah itu
Yang berjejer di sisi jalanan
Lampu-lampunya menyala di dalam
Dan aku kenal beberapa penghuninya
Tetangga-tetanggaku terdahulu
Mereka yang belajar bersamaku dan saudari-saudariku
Ada damai dan sukacita menyelimuti perasaanku...
Sudah berapa lamakah?
Rasanya seperti kehidupanku yang lain sebelum yang sekarang
Ingin kugapai masa-masa itu
Menyentuhnya dan merasakannya sekali lagi

Oh, tapi pagi sudah menjelang
Sebaiknya kubiarkan diriku terlelap
Meski sekejap saja...

Before February Ends

So before February ends...
Thank God for the sunset
It’s been a hot long day

Just finished a book
With a red cover
About a hero
Who fell in love with another hero
About the hearts that long for peace
Guess they just lived in a wrong place
At the wrong time...

I was breathless
While reading the last sentence
Sure will leave a mark...

Went upstairs and downstairs
Killing the time...
Fried some vegies in sweat
Walked around
‘Till it was dawn
And the sun rested to the other half of the earth

My Beloved Blank Pages

Oh how I miss my blank pages
And the story my mind creates
Out of scratch

Where I can escape
To any places I wanna go
Become any one
I wanna be

I just want more...
To feel all scenes intertwine
inside my brain cells
Down to my fingers
Up to the blank pages
That I miss so much...

Soul Mate

If only I could make u understand
My journey of finding the right love
You see…
It is not uncomplicated

I was searching and searching
Met the wrong ones every now and then
Fell down under and shed the bitterest tears

But you are right
What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger

My broken heart had taught me precious lessons
And so I learned
That there are the ones we love
But don’t love us at all in return
And there are those who are fond of us
But don’t love us with their soul

That’s why I kept looking
For the truest one
The one that will not be washed away by rain
Nor by the wind
The one that is safe for my heart
And whose loyalty is not questionable
Therefore I can concentrate
In living my life with the Lord
For I know for sure its presence will remain until the end

I’ve paid a high price for what it’s worth.

So it’s not the casual one dear…
‘Coz love in the surface will be worn out once the wave comes
For it possess no strong roots
Seek for the simplest one
Sense it with your spirit
And listen to its silent call when it finds you.

Jealousy

Don’t miss me ‘coz I don’t miss you
Don’t recall me ‘coz I’m doing great forgetting you
Don’t expect me to write to you ‘coz I don’t wanna waste my time
Don’t count my opinions ‘coz I don’t care if you don’t care
Don’t ask me why ‘coz I don’t know the answer
Don’t feel bad for my disagreement ‘coz I’m not the fate maker
You’ve made your decision
Now live it
And leave me with my own discontentment
I’m not like the rest
Nor like the one who share the same blood with me
So don’t try to understand me
‘Coz there are times when I also struggle to understand myself

Lamunan Hujan

It’s been rainin’ all day.
I like it when it rains
The smell of the soil
The water drips
And the grey clouds above my head
Everything seems moving in slow motion

I love the cool weather when it rains
Cool but warm enough not to shiver
The tropical friendly weather…

I sigh as I pass the old street from yesteryear
It remains unchanged
And I recall the passing years behind me
Each fine memory I keep
With every simple thing
A day can contain

Life’s been good
And time have been helping a lot
Healing the wounds
Teaching me to let go
Of those that must go
Like the rain water
That washes all the heat
The ashes
And the dust
Away…